Ringtones wont sync . iPhone 3G

Im back. after my last itunes crash where it said it couldnt find the library, and i went it and renamed the broken library so i could keep using it.. My ringtones decided to stop syncing. Now im not worried about all 30 custom made ringtones i have, but rather id simply like to know how to remove them from the ringtones list. i mean i could just suck it up and pick throught the doubles and whatnot... which im more than ready to do (i love itunes!)
ALSO
If i just start a fresh library how can i get my phone to backup with all my numbers and programs/settings and such? Or can i BACKUP just the programs and then copy them to w/e folder itunes keeps them in and see them?? I would like to keep all of my programs because the one time i called apple they suggested that i use my ONE TIME ONLY DOWNLOAD ALL PROGRAM pass, because they couldnt tell my why my previous library dissapreared.
so how do i remove the ringtones? How can i backup my #s and proggys If i make a new library. THX in advance!!!