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Man, I am getting bugged about this.
Ok. How do I save the content I WANT from my phone,
like my contacts and calender especially,
then RESET the phone to the factory settings,
to get rid of the Restrictions passcode, which I have forgotten,
and then REINSTALL my contacts and calender,
and maybe the music etc I had too,
WITHOUT REINSTALLING THE &^%$& RESTRICTIONS SETTING????????????
When I "Backup" the content,
then RESET the phone,
I don't see how to get the contacts and calender back into the phone.
If I "Restore from BAckup", I get the stupid Restriction setting back.
I hope I am being clear enough.....
"RESET the phone to the factory setting" - you confuse phone reset, settings reset, and restore - very different processes. Resetting the phone does not change any settings, "factory" or otherwise. See Appendix B of the User Guide.
The only way to get rid of the Restriction passcode is to restore the phone in iTunes as new, without using a backup, and using the same computer you previously synced the phone.

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