iPhone turns into iPad

Hello,

When i plug my iPhone 4 into iTunes, it triggers my iPad to appear! iTunes is 10.6.1 (7), and the iOS on my two devices is up to date. i have unplugged and replugged the iPhone with iTunes open and with iTunes closed, i have synced the iPad before ejecting it from the iTunes sidebar, but every time i plug my iPhone back in, it is the iPad icon (and contents) that shows up in the application!

Another baffling behaviour i am encountering that may or not be connected to the problem above is that when i shut down my iMac, the next time i turn it on, i have to reselect my Time Machine backup disk from my devices (i have an active exterior HD too) BEFORE any backup starts, or all backups fail, and i cannot access the internet anymore, the warning is that PPPoE is not connected. To be able to access the internet, i first have to go on the web from my iPad, which then causes the internet connection on my iMac to work, though it still show up as not connected through PPPoE.

It all looks to me as my iPad has taken command of the whole thing, or more probably, i have some settings wrong! i see on the page where i am typing this that my iPad shows up in my product list, but not the iPhone, so is this a clue? Has someone experienced the same behaviour, or has any idea what is going haywire here? Thanks!