IPhone 3G Update Then Nothing HELP ME.

Hi, First post on here, and hopefully my last!!
Last night, i Decided to upodate my Iphone 3G to the latest firmware, 4.1.2.
While trying to do this, first it was saying it was creating a backup, but while it was doing this, the green bar that goes from left to right kept freezing, so i stopped it.
I then decided to right click on my device, and choose to create a backup this way, before installing the latest firmware.
All went smoothly until i was prompted that itunes would wipe everything from my phone and reinstall everything, which is normal i believe.
Voila, latest firmware installed, great stuff. But when i go to restore from backup, my backup file isnt there, just my original setings, and another one i have created today when trying to sync again.
So i now have an iphone which is up to date, but ive lost all my music, 2 and a half years of photos, and all my apps.
These are not in my itunes anywhere that i can see.
I feel gutted to of lost these pictures of my kids, is there anyway to find these or to even find the backup file which i did manually?
Please help me, i havent synced my iphone in about a year either so havent got anything saved at all.
Cheers.
Neil
Iphone 3G iOS 4